9:54 A.M. The ‘ collapse of parenting ‘ …

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The two gentlemen below have my sympathy … Obviously they have had many years of experience with dealing with other people’s children and they sound ‘ worn out ‘ over the exercise of being stuck between the past couple generations of lousy ( or non existing ! ) parenting concepts and governments that contribute to it …

I have been a high school principal for 22 years … Recently I have witnessed an alarming trend I call the ABC’s of parenting : abdicate , blame , and capitulate … Raising children is an arduous and often thankless task … Therefore many parents choose to abdicate their responsibility , leaving child-rearing to teachers , social workers , psychologists and , tragically , even prison wardens … More recently , parents required their children to make adult decisions , choices that require executive functioning , abilities that are only totally developed as an adult … This kind of abandonment permits parents to blame others for their child’s bad behaviour … Ultimately many parents capitulate because it is easier , in the moment , to surrender than it is to fight … By modelling this behaviour parents teach their children to give up when things get tough and to deny responsibility for their actions … Good parenting includes defining and enforcing boundaries ; ones that are tight enough to prevent children from hurting themselves yet loose enough to encourage exploration and growth … Ultimately what children crave most is their parents’ attention , the safe structure of their families , and the assurance that they are loved …

James Watts, Montreal

In the last 10 years of my teaching career , ‘ self-esteem ‘ was the be-all and the end-all … So many of my parents would challenge me with , ‘ What about my child’s self-esteem ? ‘ … I would want to say :  What about it ?…  Millions of children around the world are dodging bombs and bullets and we’re worried about your nine-year-old’s self-esteem ?!!! … So many times when I met with parents and their children , I wondered , who’s the adult here ? So many times I had to jump in and admonish the child with ‘ Don’t you talk to your parents that way ! ‘ … But only after marvelling at how much disrespect and verbal ( and physical ) abuse an adult would take from a child … Many parents were upset with me … because , after all , their child was just learning how to express himself …

Fraser Petrick, Kingston, Ont.

MORBNOTE ; I think parents should be held accountable for their children’s behaviour …

MORBNOTE II ; This is an edit … When first posting this … I neglected to clarify ‘ the parents of young children yet to be considered adults … Some people are a fuck up despite any effort by the parents … But teenagers and younger … The parents hold responsibility …

 

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Source: What readers told us about the ‘collapse of parenting’ – Macleans.ca

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